As I have aged with disability, I have learned that brokenness is the key to finding true freedom and testimony. When I am weak, He is strong; when I fully realized my brokenness (inside and out, spiritually, mentally), I began to see how much Yahweh was able to work, within my own weaknesses. I was also awakened to see that the only thing I could do was to share of what Yahweh did in my brokenness. I found this to be freeing, yet, the freedom came within so much brokenness. There is hope in that. I began to see who Yahweh was, and that He could make dry bones come alive; move mountains. So often I ponder the literal part of those words from the bible wondering how was it possible to move a mountain. Through my brokenness, I saw how these were the mountains in my life, and the dryness of my humanity. When I share my weakness with another, and the goodness of Yahweh's touch, someone found hope. It reminds me of a football game that requires a goal. We may be the defense, someone needs to throw the ball, another catches it, yet Yahweh make the conversion (some plants, some waters, some harvests). To me, all of our testimonies, even if we think they are small, are all part of the relational engagement with Yahweh and with each other. We all have a part. I am always humbled when my brokenness clears a path. Our stories matter!
Yes, the story I’ve lived makes the best point because it can’t be debated! I’ve found that it needs to be a complete story, not just the happy ending, but I need to include the dark, not so pretty chapters as well. Those chapters are the ones that attract people the most because we’ve all had them, and by sharing them, people feel safe to share theirs. Then we can get to the “solution.” But even so, nowadays it’s often a slow process and I must be prepared to spend the time. My pastor often says to change some people may take a thousand gospel conversations. Some plow, some sow, some fertilize, some nurture, some reap, and the harvest is for God!
I love your testimony! I agree, with you on the giving of time. I am thankful that I am in a place where my children are grown, I have more time to give. Yahweh give seasons.
“I sought the Lord, and He answered me and delivered me from every fear. Those who look on Him are radiant. They’ll never be ashamed… Taste and see that the Lord is good.”
I have tasted and seen that the Lord is good. Through miscarriages, closed doors, lost friendships, and seasons of doubt, it is when I seek Him that the fog of grief begins to clear. I still feel the pain of those wounds, but when I seek Him I begin to see the sun again ,and the hope He gives me strengthens and heals me.
I recently had a conversation w my niece (who has decided to make church a priority and change the direction of her children’s lives).
I am not perfect and didn’t raise perfect kids. My kids are grown and have turned out well. That doesn’t mean that I don’t worry about their
Christian walk. I’m ashamed to say it took me years to realize the wonder of God. I always knew God loved me, but I didn’t fully realize what it meant to have that love and to fully love Him back. My choices in life would’ve been different and I would have less regrets had I loved Him more. I sat on a panel with 4 other women at a thing for church. All gave similar answers when asked what we would do differently. We made church a priority and kids were involved. They were all good kids. But our emphasis was more on “being a part” rather than letting everything you do be to glorify God. Let your love for Him be the reason for the “why”. Going to church is great, but cultivating a relationship with God outside of the building is crucial. Hard times changed me. I’ve learned to rely more on God to help me through.
I got married super young (the week I turned 20) and the first ten years of my marriage were truly a grueling uphill climb. Depression, anxiety, debt, job loss, addiction, relapse, therapy, trauma, codependency, church betrayal, incompatibility, lost friendships - you name it, we endured it, and statistically we should be divorced by now. “I would have lost heart, unless I believed I would see the goodness of God in the land of the living.” (Psa. 27) It’s too long of a story to share all the details, but the Lord has actually walked with us so very faithfully, (“He brought [us] out into a spacious place,” Psa. 18) and softened our hearts toward Him and each other in ways that we could not accomplish on our own (we know because we tried literally all the other ways.) His timing has almost never been what I would have preferred, but the fruit of healing and peace that we’ve tasted for the past six years has been incredibly sweet.
It’s often hard for me to testify about this because it’s such a tender spot for so many (myself included!), but I’m truly not bragging about what I or my husband have accomplished; we have been dragged and carried into a beautiful marriage only by the grace and mercy of God. I don’t know why He worked this way in us when so many other longed-for marriages have ended in heartbreak and broken pieces. I ache and grieve for those marriages. But I am so thankful for what He’s done, and continues to do, in mine.
A few weeks ago my husband tore his Achilles. He cannot bear weight on his leg for several more weeks and the flow of our home has been quite impacted by this. My mom is going through chemo as well and she usually helps out with taking my kids to school and such. There are many ways in which I have needed God to give me more energy, more patience, more selflessness, and more grit than I usually need in day to day life. I have needed sharper spiritual eyes to see how I can be serving my family in different ways than I’m used to. God has been answering my prayers (and the prayers of others, some even here ❤️). My natural self would be doing a lot more whining and huffing and puffing and maybe even cussing haha God is near when we seek him in the middle of it all. And then I wonder… why do I ever start to wander away and go into auto-pilot?!
I grew up going to church, but my relationship with God was based more around fear and obedience than knowing Him. During college, I got a chance to see what it might look like for others to really give their lives to Jesus, but I don't think I really knew how. After college and a struggle to find a church family, I got plugged into a really small church where I was quickly put to work. I was still not really getting to know Jesus well, but I was serving and showing kids what little I knew about Him. At this point, I hadn't really learned much humility yet and I really thought there wasn't much for me to learn.
We ended up moving to a new state and going to a new church. What I learned through that was that I had been keeping it safe and staying in the shallows instead of stepping out into the ocean. I didn't know about the depths that could be found both in the Bible and, more recently over the last 2-3 years, the depths of getting to know Jesus more through things like spiritual disciplines. I'm more excited in who Jesus is now than I've ever been.
If I've learned anything, I've learned that Yahweh is so much more faithful than we ever could be, and that He works with what we give Him. If we only have the mustard seed, He can still overturn mountains. If we can give Him ourselves as a living sacrifice, He can give so much more.
As I have aged with disability, I have learned that brokenness is the key to finding true freedom and testimony. When I am weak, He is strong; when I fully realized my brokenness (inside and out, spiritually, mentally), I began to see how much Yahweh was able to work, within my own weaknesses. I was also awakened to see that the only thing I could do was to share of what Yahweh did in my brokenness. I found this to be freeing, yet, the freedom came within so much brokenness. There is hope in that. I began to see who Yahweh was, and that He could make dry bones come alive; move mountains. So often I ponder the literal part of those words from the bible wondering how was it possible to move a mountain. Through my brokenness, I saw how these were the mountains in my life, and the dryness of my humanity. When I share my weakness with another, and the goodness of Yahweh's touch, someone found hope. It reminds me of a football game that requires a goal. We may be the defense, someone needs to throw the ball, another catches it, yet Yahweh make the conversion (some plants, some waters, some harvests). To me, all of our testimonies, even if we think they are small, are all part of the relational engagement with Yahweh and with each other. We all have a part. I am always humbled when my brokenness clears a path. Our stories matter!
I love the way God's leading you to share your story. Your testimony in these comments has been a gift to all of us.
Thank you. I hope so!
Yes, the story I’ve lived makes the best point because it can’t be debated! I’ve found that it needs to be a complete story, not just the happy ending, but I need to include the dark, not so pretty chapters as well. Those chapters are the ones that attract people the most because we’ve all had them, and by sharing them, people feel safe to share theirs. Then we can get to the “solution.” But even so, nowadays it’s often a slow process and I must be prepared to spend the time. My pastor often says to change some people may take a thousand gospel conversations. Some plow, some sow, some fertilize, some nurture, some reap, and the harvest is for God!
Because it can't be debated--exactly.
I love your testimony! I agree, with you on the giving of time. I am thankful that I am in a place where my children are grown, I have more time to give. Yahweh give seasons.
“I sought the Lord, and He answered me and delivered me from every fear. Those who look on Him are radiant. They’ll never be ashamed… Taste and see that the Lord is good.”
I have tasted and seen that the Lord is good. Through miscarriages, closed doors, lost friendships, and seasons of doubt, it is when I seek Him that the fog of grief begins to clear. I still feel the pain of those wounds, but when I seek Him I begin to see the sun again ,and the hope He gives me strengthens and heals me.
Love it. Amen!
I recently had a conversation w my niece (who has decided to make church a priority and change the direction of her children’s lives).
I am not perfect and didn’t raise perfect kids. My kids are grown and have turned out well. That doesn’t mean that I don’t worry about their
Christian walk. I’m ashamed to say it took me years to realize the wonder of God. I always knew God loved me, but I didn’t fully realize what it meant to have that love and to fully love Him back. My choices in life would’ve been different and I would have less regrets had I loved Him more. I sat on a panel with 4 other women at a thing for church. All gave similar answers when asked what we would do differently. We made church a priority and kids were involved. They were all good kids. But our emphasis was more on “being a part” rather than letting everything you do be to glorify God. Let your love for Him be the reason for the “why”. Going to church is great, but cultivating a relationship with God outside of the building is crucial. Hard times changed me. I’ve learned to rely more on God to help me through.
Beautiful vulnerability. Thank you!
I got married super young (the week I turned 20) and the first ten years of my marriage were truly a grueling uphill climb. Depression, anxiety, debt, job loss, addiction, relapse, therapy, trauma, codependency, church betrayal, incompatibility, lost friendships - you name it, we endured it, and statistically we should be divorced by now. “I would have lost heart, unless I believed I would see the goodness of God in the land of the living.” (Psa. 27) It’s too long of a story to share all the details, but the Lord has actually walked with us so very faithfully, (“He brought [us] out into a spacious place,” Psa. 18) and softened our hearts toward Him and each other in ways that we could not accomplish on our own (we know because we tried literally all the other ways.) His timing has almost never been what I would have preferred, but the fruit of healing and peace that we’ve tasted for the past six years has been incredibly sweet.
It’s often hard for me to testify about this because it’s such a tender spot for so many (myself included!), but I’m truly not bragging about what I or my husband have accomplished; we have been dragged and carried into a beautiful marriage only by the grace and mercy of God. I don’t know why He worked this way in us when so many other longed-for marriages have ended in heartbreak and broken pieces. I ache and grieve for those marriages. But I am so thankful for what He’s done, and continues to do, in mine.
A small testimony unfolding in my life currently-
A few weeks ago my husband tore his Achilles. He cannot bear weight on his leg for several more weeks and the flow of our home has been quite impacted by this. My mom is going through chemo as well and she usually helps out with taking my kids to school and such. There are many ways in which I have needed God to give me more energy, more patience, more selflessness, and more grit than I usually need in day to day life. I have needed sharper spiritual eyes to see how I can be serving my family in different ways than I’m used to. God has been answering my prayers (and the prayers of others, some even here ❤️). My natural self would be doing a lot more whining and huffing and puffing and maybe even cussing haha God is near when we seek him in the middle of it all. And then I wonder… why do I ever start to wander away and go into auto-pilot?!
I grew up going to church, but my relationship with God was based more around fear and obedience than knowing Him. During college, I got a chance to see what it might look like for others to really give their lives to Jesus, but I don't think I really knew how. After college and a struggle to find a church family, I got plugged into a really small church where I was quickly put to work. I was still not really getting to know Jesus well, but I was serving and showing kids what little I knew about Him. At this point, I hadn't really learned much humility yet and I really thought there wasn't much for me to learn.
We ended up moving to a new state and going to a new church. What I learned through that was that I had been keeping it safe and staying in the shallows instead of stepping out into the ocean. I didn't know about the depths that could be found both in the Bible and, more recently over the last 2-3 years, the depths of getting to know Jesus more through things like spiritual disciplines. I'm more excited in who Jesus is now than I've ever been.
If I've learned anything, I've learned that Yahweh is so much more faithful than we ever could be, and that He works with what we give Him. If we only have the mustard seed, He can still overturn mountains. If we can give Him ourselves as a living sacrifice, He can give so much more.