Day 38
What is this?
To Start
Begin in silence.
Pray
Yahweh, give me the courage to tell You the truth. Give me the courage to come to You when I don’t understand the truth.
Read
Read John 16:16-18.
Today we’re going to practice imaginative reading/prayer (or Ignatian contemplation/reading). It’s a centuries old way of entering a New Testament moment to meet Jesus.
I’ve borrowed the following steps from an imaginative reading guide put out by the University of Notre Dame:
Place yourself in the presence of God. Close your eyes, relax your body bit by bit, and ask the Lord to speak to you through this prayer. Breathe in the unique and powerful love offered to you, and breathe out any distractions that might cloud your mind.
Read the Scripture passage once:
16 “In a little while, you will no longer see me; again in a little while, you will see me.”
17 Then some of his disciples said to one another, “What is this he’s telling us: ‘In a little while, you will not see me; again in a little while, you will see me,’ and, ‘Because I am going to the Father’?” 18 They said, “What is this he is saying, ‘In a little while’? We don’t know what he’s talking about.”
Think of the people in this moment. Which character (any of the apostles, Jesus) stands out to you? Place yourself in his or her shoes, or imagine entering the story as yourself, as you are right now.
Read the passage again, this time from the perspective of your chosen person. Use what you know from the greater context to build out the scene. Now, use your imagination. What do you see? Who and what is around you? What do you hear? Is it the sounds of people, birds, Jesus’ voice, or even your own voice? What do you smell? Is there anything you taste?
Using your senses and placing yourself in the scene, read the passage a third time. What might God be telling you or showing you through this?
Let this Scripture story open your heart to receive whatever message God might be revealing to you. Spend some time in silence, and listen to the Lord.
Respond to God, and thank Him for the opportunity to encounter Him in this prayer.
From JL
I had us practice imagining this scene in particular, because it’s one I can struggle to get my head around. In chapters 14-16 we’ve seen Jesus put on a remarkable display of vulnerability, love, and intimacy with His apostles. These chapters are a love letter, a dream about a beautiful shared future. There’s a kind of proposal here—as one might expect after three years of cohabitation, aligned mission, and shared prayer. Jesus knows these guys. He’s about to die for them.
And yet.
When they don’t understand what He’s telling them, they don’t address their questions to Him; they whisper to one another about Him.
In other words, Jesus feels close enough to the apostles to bear his heart for three chapters. And the apostles don’t feel close enough to Him to ask Him a direct question.
What’s going on?
I could come up with a few reasons or excuses or explanations. I could say they wanted to be polite and not interrupt Him. I could say maybe they were feeling gun-shy after their first couple questions weren’t exactly answered. Perhaps they’re just ready for Jesus to be done talking and think that if they don’t speak up with their questions the speech may never end. Maybe they’re afraid of what’s to come. Maybe they’re tired of all the riddles and mystery.
It sounds to me like they’re frustrated: “We don’t know what he’s talking about.”
The apostles are human; humans make weird choices. I can’t say with any authority what was going through their minds.
But maybe this…
I think Jesus loves His apostles more than they love Him. I think He’s in them more than they’re in Him. I think Jesus is yearning to be close to the people He loves, and I think the people are still afraid to get too close.
I get it. Jesus is walking on water and turning water to wine and be transfigured into elemental glory. He’s more than intimidating.
And now He’s standing here promising persecution…
I see why they might hesitate to take a step toward Him, why they might keep a safe distance and crowdsource the answers.
But I don’t want that.
If I have a question for God, I don’t want to turn to my neighbor and whisper about Him. I don’t want to read about God and never talk to God. I don’t want to watch God from a distance. I want to walk with God. I want to laugh with God. I want to cry with God. And I want to climb up into the throne and be held.
The apostles don’t want that yet. They will have it soon enough.
In the comments
Two options for the comments today:
Did you enjoy the Ignatian reading exercise? What was it like? What was fun? What was challenging?
Do you try to keep a safe distance between you and God? Do you talk more about God than to God? Why do you think that is?
Good day, all! Thank you, JL for another awakening quiet time.
Did you enjoy the Ignatian reading exercise? Yes, I did. My mind is so practically wired. I think was cultivated and a product of my experiences. My survival has been to disassociate from my body's hurts and pains. In that, I have cut off some of the beautiful feelings that Yahweh put within us. My trauma councilor will be happy to hear this opened up my body/mind engagement. :)
I found that I focused on what I could not comprehend, felt chill bumps, and a sense of time suspended that was filled with concern, a racing mind to understand what was being said, and even some sense of being abandoned. This provoked other things to contemplate with the Lord.
I would not say it was fun. Challenging? Yes. It challenged me spiritually and emotionally in a good way that enabled a deeper sense of conversation with the Lord.
I think this type of Ignatian reading was very beneficial. Thank you.
I did enjoy it... I think I may have overdone it going for historical accuracy in my head... "wait, they didn't have any lights, maybe just candles... are there windows? Has the sun gone down yet?" Yeah.
I was sort of shocked by your observation about not talking to Jesus and then second question of if I try to keep a safe distance from God. Because I pictured myself on the opposite side of the table from Jesus... even BEHIND other disciples. This triggered a set of thoughts in my head... one actually being anger (jealousy?), because I want to HEAR Jesus's words for myself and I feel like I don't get to. I just felt a sense of peace and not judgment afterwards. I'm still processing this I think.