Good day, all! Thank you, JL for another awakening quiet time.
Did you enjoy the Ignatian reading exercise? Yes, I did. My mind is so practically wired. I think was cultivated and a product of my experiences. My survival has been to disassociate from my body's hurts and pains. In that, I have cut off some of the beautiful feelings that Yahweh put within us. My trauma councilor will be happy to hear this opened up my body/mind engagement. :)
I found that I focused on what I could not comprehend, felt chill bumps, and a sense of time suspended that was filled with concern, a racing mind to understand what was being said, and even some sense of being abandoned. This provoked other things to contemplate with the Lord.
I would not say it was fun. Challenging? Yes. It challenged me spiritually and emotionally in a good way that enabled a deeper sense of conversation with the Lord.
I think this type of Ignatian reading was very beneficial. Thank you.
I did enjoy it... I think I may have overdone it going for historical accuracy in my head... "wait, they didn't have any lights, maybe just candles... are there windows? Has the sun gone down yet?" Yeah.
I was sort of shocked by your observation about not talking to Jesus and then second question of if I try to keep a safe distance from God. Because I pictured myself on the opposite side of the table from Jesus... even BEHIND other disciples. This triggered a set of thoughts in my head... one actually being anger (jealousy?), because I want to HEAR Jesus's words for myself and I feel like I don't get to. I just felt a sense of peace and not judgment afterwards. I'm still processing this I think.
That was interesting! Seeing things from another perspective—hadn’t thought about why they questioned each other but not Jesus. That’s what we do sometimes. We will talk to others before we talk to God.
At first I found this exercise hard but as I persisted I could really sense the pain of Jesus as he sees the disciples ask each other what they should have asked him. And that brought me to reflect on how Jesus' desire to connect on a deep level is somewhat like my own desire. And I could emphasise with the disconnectedness of Jesus and the disciples. And it reminded me of the joy of bringing everything to Jesus and to hear him say he totally gets it! I feel seen and known!
I chose to enter the story as an apostle. I felt their frustration of not understanding what Jesus was saying. Being able to also look at it as an outsider, I see Jesus loving them and bearing His soul with them.
When we look at this both ways, we see the apostles wondering why Jesus isn’t close enough to/care enough about them to plainly tell them what He means. “Why is He leaving us in the dark?” We see Jesus feeling disappointed that the apostles aren’t close enough to Him to understand.
This plays out in our lives today. We see the pain or confusion of situations as they occur, feeling abandoned by God. “Why is He leaving me to bear this alone?” God is left aching for us to draw close to Him, to not pull away.
Being able to see both sides as an outsider is an amazing way to be able to connect with God and know that though we may not understand the details, we can trust that He is by our side. All we need to do is climb up in that throne.
Yeah--can you imagine trying to be friends with Jesus (in this on-earth, in-a-body way)? He'd be a whole thing. Hard to understand. Unpredictable. I can feel for them.
Getting to this late, but so glad I spent time at my lunch hour, closing my eyes and imagining! I felt anxiety and confusion and fear, and even maybe some dread as maybe Philip or Thomas or Andrew may have felt. Almost panicky in thinking about him talking about someone who kills you thinks they’re doing a favor for Gid. I’m feeling empathy and solidarity with them in anxiety and fear, which I often experience, especially with regards to others’ hostility, or rejection. I can see why they ran away when the crowd came to seize Jesus in the garden.
Good day, all! Thank you, JL for another awakening quiet time.
Did you enjoy the Ignatian reading exercise? Yes, I did. My mind is so practically wired. I think was cultivated and a product of my experiences. My survival has been to disassociate from my body's hurts and pains. In that, I have cut off some of the beautiful feelings that Yahweh put within us. My trauma councilor will be happy to hear this opened up my body/mind engagement. :)
I found that I focused on what I could not comprehend, felt chill bumps, and a sense of time suspended that was filled with concern, a racing mind to understand what was being said, and even some sense of being abandoned. This provoked other things to contemplate with the Lord.
I would not say it was fun. Challenging? Yes. It challenged me spiritually and emotionally in a good way that enabled a deeper sense of conversation with the Lord.
I think this type of Ignatian reading was very beneficial. Thank you.
I did enjoy it... I think I may have overdone it going for historical accuracy in my head... "wait, they didn't have any lights, maybe just candles... are there windows? Has the sun gone down yet?" Yeah.
I was sort of shocked by your observation about not talking to Jesus and then second question of if I try to keep a safe distance from God. Because I pictured myself on the opposite side of the table from Jesus... even BEHIND other disciples. This triggered a set of thoughts in my head... one actually being anger (jealousy?), because I want to HEAR Jesus's words for myself and I feel like I don't get to. I just felt a sense of peace and not judgment afterwards. I'm still processing this I think.
This is why I love exercises like this--they reveal things to us, stuff that's going on subconsciously. It's sometimes an itchy gift. :)
That was interesting! Seeing things from another perspective—hadn’t thought about why they questioned each other but not Jesus. That’s what we do sometimes. We will talk to others before we talk to God.
At first I found this exercise hard but as I persisted I could really sense the pain of Jesus as he sees the disciples ask each other what they should have asked him. And that brought me to reflect on how Jesus' desire to connect on a deep level is somewhat like my own desire. And I could emphasise with the disconnectedness of Jesus and the disciples. And it reminded me of the joy of bringing everything to Jesus and to hear him say he totally gets it! I feel seen and known!
I always find imaginative exercises hard. I don't have a very visual brain. But once I give in and settle in, things do start to appear.
I chose to enter the story as an apostle. I felt their frustration of not understanding what Jesus was saying. Being able to also look at it as an outsider, I see Jesus loving them and bearing His soul with them.
When we look at this both ways, we see the apostles wondering why Jesus isn’t close enough to/care enough about them to plainly tell them what He means. “Why is He leaving us in the dark?” We see Jesus feeling disappointed that the apostles aren’t close enough to Him to understand.
This plays out in our lives today. We see the pain or confusion of situations as they occur, feeling abandoned by God. “Why is He leaving me to bear this alone?” God is left aching for us to draw close to Him, to not pull away.
Being able to see both sides as an outsider is an amazing way to be able to connect with God and know that though we may not understand the details, we can trust that He is by our side. All we need to do is climb up in that throne.
Yeah--can you imagine trying to be friends with Jesus (in this on-earth, in-a-body way)? He'd be a whole thing. Hard to understand. Unpredictable. I can feel for them.
Getting to this late, but so glad I spent time at my lunch hour, closing my eyes and imagining! I felt anxiety and confusion and fear, and even maybe some dread as maybe Philip or Thomas or Andrew may have felt. Almost panicky in thinking about him talking about someone who kills you thinks they’re doing a favor for Gid. I’m feeling empathy and solidarity with them in anxiety and fear, which I often experience, especially with regards to others’ hostility, or rejection. I can see why they ran away when the crowd came to seize Jesus in the garden.